Thoughts on self-promotion and social media

Last month, I wrote about how I’m exploring digital minimalism: buying an alarm clock to keep my phone out of the bedroom; switching to paper books from my Kindle; deleting TikTok (which is going great by the way, except that my lovely, sweet husband still wants to share all the funny TikToks he comes across, so he’s started texting them to me, which TikTok has made to be maybe the worst user experience I’ve come across in recent memory). A month later and I kind of expected to be back to my old ways, but that hasn’t been the case—in fact I find that in a lot of areas I’m actually doubling down on staying away.

Now don’t get me wrong—as I said in that other post on this subject, I’m not about to announce some massive social media break, nor do I mean to be super preachy about the Horrors of Social Media. But since re-launching this blog and website independently last week (hi! Thank you for being here!) I have found myself grappling with two apparently opposite objectives: wanting to limit my interactions with social media at large, and wanting to market this blog and newsletter—which are inherently digital products existing in a digital world.

So I thought it might be helpful to talk this through this week, and also use this space as a vehicle for some transparency around how I’m thinking about Hello Toad, my dreams for it, and how I’m trying to navigate it all ethically in a world of ever-increasingly desperate virality. 

Growing Hello Toad

Over the course of the past year or so I’ve been digging in pretty deep on learning how to grow a brand. I wasn’t exactly sure what form I wanted said brand to take (you’d be shocked how long it took me to have the lightbulb moment for a newsletter) but I knew that I had shit to say, and that it was something I wanted to really try doing. So for the past months, without even really knowing what my product would be, I’ve been reading and watching a ton of online educators explain how to build an Instagram/YouTube/TikTok following.

Now listen, I am a professional marketer. So even if I’m not super familiar with the nitty gritty of, say, how to make a successful Reel, the tricks of the trade remain the same: build engagement, keep ‘em hooked, hop on the trends. And please hear me that I mean no disrespect to people playing that game—social media does not make it easy to become and stay successful, and that’s even more intense when these platforms play such a key role in keeping peoples’ businesses afloat, and the algorithm changes seemingly every week.

But goddamn, is that ever exhausting. And I can’t help but get the ick (as the kids say) every time I think about trying to make a trending Reel.

Here’s the thing: I do want to grow Hello Toad. I want to be able to make money off my writing and my work (ethically! In a way that feels valuable and not gross! Please stick with me!). And that means that as I continue to find my voice and improve this space and make it something that’s worth your time as readers, I also need to think about growing it.

And in a world of rampant digital consumerism, in a world where social media is theoretically the easiest, fastest, and cheapest way to connect with your like minded community, how do you stay authentic (an overused word if ever there was one) and true to yourself and not do shady stuff to your community, while still finding your audience?

I know this is possible—I see small business owners in my own circle navigating these waters every day. But as someone just starting out on this journey, those waters look pretty daunting.

Respecting my own boundaries

Here’s the other thing with all this: the underlying motivation behind Hello Toad is that I truly do believe in living a slower life. It might seem paradoxical to start a blog and weekly newsletter when you’re trying to slow down, but as I’ve already discovered, adding in hobbies and routines that feel aligned with my values actually adds to my energy, even if it’s putting more work on my plate. 

What doesn’t feel aligned to my values is chasing clout on Instagram, or any other social media platform. And how completely phoney would it be if I were running myself ragged trying to do so, all while writing about #slowliving and #digitalminimalism? 

There are things I like about Instagram, for what it’s worth. I love sharing pictures. I love chatting with people in Stories. I may even love Reels as I play around with them more (but in a way that actually feels fun). But building out a strategy to try and game the ever-changing system just doesn’t feel like something I can do right now—and I have to believe that that’s okay. I have to believe that it’s still possible, even in 2024, to organically build a following without jumping on whatever’s #trending. 

More specifically, I gotta believe there are more folks out there longing for a return to slower, longer-form content (even—gasp—written content), and that we can find each other. I know this is true, because a bunch of you are here already, and that’s just so fucking cool. So bear with me, please, as I figure out this whole self-promotion thing! It’s weird, but you guys give me hope.

I’m interested in coming back to this post in a year and seeing how true this all lands. There’s a good chance I’m overthinking it all (although it’s literally my job to overthink about digital marketing), and there’s a good chance that I’m totally wrong and you do need to play by the algorithm’s rules to get anywhere. But I’m hoping that I’m right, and we can form a little pocket of quiet, slow connection over here.

Until next time.